jen briggs

Sometimes I get questions or people venting (bitching?) about their employer. Here’s part of a recent conversation about the challenges of allocating the training dollars –

Q: My employer has repeatedly declined my requests for financial support to get technical skills certifications, but now they are launching a soft skills, emotional intelligence program. I feel completely undervalued and don’t understand why they aren’t investing in skills, but are putting dollars to indirect soft skills stuff crap that won’t matter to us anyway.

ME: I’m going to give you some tough love here. You are conflating too many issues.

Me: First, does the business need for you to be certified to be better at your job?

They: Well, no. I need the certifications to make me more marketable. I’m not looking to leave, but my resume is important and it doesn’t seem like they care about my professional worth. But, the extra training might help me understand the system better.

Me: Why have they said they are implementing the emotional intelligence program?

They: To build culture. But, I’m tired of all of the culture BS. It’s culture, culture, culture, but not focusing on executional excellence and supervisors never reinforce it on the floor anyway. We just need to execute better and then we wouldn’t have issues.

Me: How do you define culture?

They: Being happy at work, having friends, social activities – you know, the fun stuff.

Me: Seems like there could be some wires crossed. Culture is how people show up. It’s the pattern of attitudes and actions. Fun is awesome, but culture is more than fun. A healthy culture is execution excellence, and it’s about how we will be excellent. Will we get there by controlling and micromanaging? Or, by being co-determined to win? Will managers strive to release the great talent in the people they hired or will they just tell them what to do? Will they practice open-book management so people can participate and understand the why behind strategic decisions? Will people learn new and different ways to think and do. Will people be constantly improving and innovating? There’s many paths to excellence, but the best are where we can be ambitious together and where people can take responsibly for growth, winning, and their failures. It’s great that your HR team is working on this because it’s hard to be excellent if people can’t grapple with negative emotions and conflict in a way that is positive.

They: Ya, I can see that, but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel that they don’t care about my future, but only for the company.

Me: Isn’t that their job? To put the company ahead of any one person? Do you feel like they don’t care about people or just you?  Is it time to consider a new company?

They: No, I love my team! I don’t want to move and I get paid well for our area. When I look at other jobs in the area, they are lower paying. When I look for jobs in my specialty, I can’t compete because I need the certifications. Or, I need to move.

Me: Sounds like you need to come to grips with your reality. Invest in yourself. I know that you feel like the company needs to pay for it, but sounds like you need to get over the wish that you have and do it for yourself. It’s your resume and you said the certs won’t benefit the company – just you. I know it feels like you want them to do more, but that’s not where they choose to invest. It doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you, but there are gives and takes. There’s a limited amount of money available, and there must be a choice in what money must go where to try to get the best impact. It’s hard because we hope we get the business impact we are forecasting, but it doesn’t always work out. Even with learning and development programs – we project a return-on-value and work really hard to make it happen and it doesn’t always turn out to be perfect. There are a lot of variables in business so we make the best decisions we can in the moment.

They: Ya, our insurance is incredible. My retirement is a great nest-egg because of them.

Me: Then?

They: I still feel like it’s the companies duty. I feel like they owe it to me.

Me: Well, you are going to have to make a choice. With any employer, there will be gives and takes on the benefits and perks. There will be gives and takes with leadership character and their commitment to drive a healthy culture. It’s up to you to choose, and you can make the best of it or grow resentment and complain. But, regardless, you have to own your choices. If your bitterness keeps growing it will start to show. There’s a saying … If you don’t talk it out, you will act it out. Don’t let this single issue on paying for your certifications, affect a good job. Don’t let resentment fester and affect how you show your character at work. You might not have a great job, but it is a good job. If you want a great job – quit and go after it. But, you must choose.

They: Ya.

Me: I know you have great benefits, a great team, and a reasonable paycheck. I don’t blame you for wanting more, and sometimes you have to take control of your own future and not wait on people. It’s not that they don’t care, but there are hard choices when trying to divvy up the money. They are investing, you just disagree with where they are investing. If you really feel that undervalued, you need to dig into that more for yourself. What’s your bigger purpose? What is your career and personal roadmap?

They: Ya, I need to figure that out first. I just want to make a lot of money and retire.

Me: Those are outcomes. Those are your scoreboard. That is not your map. It is not your purpose, at least for now. It’s not showing your values and what drives you every day.

They: Ya, I guess I need to do some soul searching. It is a good place. But, I want more.

Me: That’s good. Figure out a plan to get your more. But, don’t put that on your employer. It’s great when employers can invest, but sometimes it’s just not what they do or what they can do. Some great employers fall on tough times. There are mediocre employers who just do enough. Then there are bad employers who don’t care. There are great employers who don’t have a career path for every employee, and that is okay. Sometimes people need to leave and take the next step. Even if you don’t know what you want – it doesn’t hurt to explore new places. But, the point is, if this is impacting you that much where you are negatively stressed and vent at your coworkers, you need to choose. Stay and find a healthier way to be in a good situation or leave and find what makes you feel valued. It’s not fair to your coworkers to hear you complain.

They: {Looking wistful and a little sad}

Me: Hey, give that emotional intelligence workshop a chance. It might help you find your answers.?.?